How to Bury Valuables to Keep Them Safe

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Some people, not everyone, but some people occasionally find themselves with a situation in which they need to retain ownership of something (often money) without actually having it in their possession. Giving it to a family member might backfire, seeing as how there isn’t anything stopping them from keeping it for themselves, or getting investigated by authorities. A safe-deposit box isn't always the best solution either, as the government can penetrate that curtain of safety as well. That leaves you with one solution: do like the pirates do.

Steps

    1. Pick Your Spot. You must pick a burial ground that leaves you a window of time alone and out of sight in which you will bury your package. This window of time must be no less than an hour (longer if the package is large), and occurring at least once a week. The reason being that if you get into a bind and need to retrieve the package ASAP, you don't want to have to wait around for a month until you can dig it up unseen. Tips for picking a spot include:
        • Make sure your spot isn't scheduled for construction or anything that might cause it to be built upon, dug into, or otherwise obstructed from your ever getting to it. A few examples of badly chosen terrain might be: an empty lot, a spot near a water main, a spot close to a public road or a playground/school.
        • The spot must have ground that is easy enough to dig with a shovel. You don't want to be spending all night digging, and the use of large digging machines isn't conducive to secrecy.
        • The spot must be easily found again without the use of a map. You should be able to find the spot in the darkness and completely by memory. Also, should the situation arise where you need to verbally convey to someone where your package is so that they might retrieve it (i.e. through a pane of plexi-glass at a police station), you'll need to be quick and precise in your description.
        • Don't pick a spot where your package might be moved by natural forces. A beach might not be the best idea as sand is moved to and fro on a daily basis. The same thing goes for a swamp. (Although you don't have to worry about moisture because your package will be more than watertight, as you'll read below)
        • Don't pick an obvious spot. If somebody is searching for your package they should not be able to find it in your backyard. Pick a spot that has no ties to you or your family, friends, accomplices, etc.
    2. Construct Your Package. Your package must meet three requirements: a) Watertight, b) Structurally sound, and c) as compact as possible. The following steps will show you how to create your package:
        • First, take your object and put it into a heavy duty garbage bag. Use duct or packaging tape to completely cover the package two times over. This is the first step to ensure water tightness.
        • Repeat three times for a total of four garbage bag/tape jobs. Your package is now watertight.
        • Measure your now watertight package and construct a wooden box using wood panels one inches thick. Make certain your package will fit snugly inside of the box, so as to avoid creating a box bigger than necessary.
        • Insert your package into the wooden box and repeat the garbage bag/tape job two times for good measure. You now have a watertight, structurally solid package that will last many years under the earth.
    3. Bury Your Package. During your window of burying opportunity, sneak to your pre-chosen destination and dig. Dig fast and dig true; don't dig the hole any wider than is required, as you will be wasting time and energy.
        • For maximum security, it is recommended that you bury your package no less than 2 1/2 - 3 feet deep. It will take more time and effort, but your peace of mind over the years to come will be well worth it.
        • Once your hole has been dug, place your package into it and cover it with a layer of good-size rocks.
        • Spray the pepper spray or mace into the hole. This will deter any animals from potentially smelling something interesting and digging up your package.
        • In thirds, fill the hole with dirt, step into it and compress the dirt with your feet (so as to avoid a sinkhole in the following weeks), and use the pepper/mace spray. Repeat until the hole is full.
    4. Disguise your Spot. Dig up a nearby shrub and plant it on your spot, cover it with a rock, or plant some grass, anything to make it look like someone hadn't just been digging there.
    5. Don't Touch It. Leave your package alone until you are ready to retrieve it. Don't check on it, don't poke at it. View it from afar if you have to, but don't go near it. If for some reason you do need to dig it up, don't put it back in the same spot. You've taken a big enough chance getting it into the ground the first time. Another attempt doubles your chances of detection.
    6. Keep Quiet. Nobody is going to be impressed with the fact that you buried something, so don't show off. Unless it is imperative that someone else knows about your secret, keep it that way: a secret.

Warnings

    • It is important to realize that unless you are burying gold or some other commodity, your buried money will decrease in value over time. Inflation as well as the time-value of money (learn about it at http://www.investopedia.com/terms/t/timevalueofmoney.asp) will lower the value of your cash over time. That said, unless you really, really need to distance yourself from this cash, invest it and earn a return on your capital.
    • Handle Mace/Pepper spray with extreme caution! This stuff is intended to ward off more than just nosy animals (purse snatchers, burglars, anarchist cops, etc)

Things You'll Need

    • Heavy duty garbage bags
    • Duct or packaging tape
    • 1' thick plywood & nails
    • Shovel
    • Mace or pepper spray